Many people have told me I have a nice disposition. I’m a good person, I’m quiet and I’m a good friend. These are things that I strive for. I will keep my mouth shut if there is something bothering me, just so I don’t offend someone. I want everyone to be happy, even if I’m not. Even if I don’t agree with someone.
This is me generally, my children know that I can totally lose my s#@t. They have seen it, and sometimes they take advantage of the fact that I will instantly feel bad about being a grumpy mom. The grumpy mom could have been prevented if they just listened or did what they were supposed to.
How is it so easy to be real with the kids, and not truly rude people, that don’t have manners and are rude and impolite and have no respect? For awhile, I will try my best to appease people and yet it won’t be what or when and instead of speaking out before things got out of hand…I wait…I wait until that person totally pisses me off and then I will let them know what’s been on mind.
Do I feel good about it? No, absolutely not. I like being a good person, I like doing what I can when I can. I put my family first and I yet, I will be nicer to the person who talks to me like a child rather than an adult. I’ve come to the realization, I don’t respond well to being talked down to. If someone has a lack of respect for me, then at some point, I’ll dish it back…and my cool is gone. Which is super lame, because it’s not like they are caring about me or you if you have the same problem.
So, when do you lash back, without feeling guilty about it? Oh, and I’m so vicious, I choose to defend myself and use exclamation marks. But the point is, what good is it? What good is it to let someone force you to lose your cool. I’m not trying to make anyone lose it…I’m just living my life, the best I can. If that’s an excuse well then that is a them problem and not a me problem.
I’m just getting to a point to where I am not a doormat, I am one person living the most positive life I can. This life is the life we are living and being angry is not good for anything and throws that root chakra right into fight mode or flight, depending on how much cool someone loses.
I guess that the reason for this blog, is simple…pick your battles. You can’t please everyone and you can try, but it’s not worth the smile that got wiped off your face over a text or a rude comment. Stand your ground, don’t lose your sh%@ and smile and give it your all one day at a time.
Holding it together and Laughing to myself, after all, is said and done!! I can be so dramatic.
Elena, The Chakra Faery